Friday, January 21, 2011

New Year's Anti-Resolutions

For the first time in several years, I'm not making New Year's Resolutions this year.  I'm making some Anti-Resolutions.

For the past few years I've tried to be very goal-oriented, but I tend to take it a little too far.  Instead of positively encouraging myself, I tend to criticize myself for goals not reached.  Well this year I'm going to do things differently.

When I looked back over 2010 (I refused to call it a Year in Review) I realized I did great.  Yes there were some goals on my list that I didn't achieve.  But considering all the stress, change, and unexpected stuff that came my way last year, I did awesome.

Since it's turning out that this year will be possibly even more stressful and with even bigger changes than last year (and having to go through an international move only 7 months after my last one, but this time to the other side of the world) I'm going to take it easy on myself.  I still have goals, sure. I have things I need to get done.  But some things I'm letting go.  Like:

1) Lose Weight.  Don't most people who make resolutions have this one on their list? Well I for one am tired of it.  Yes I managed to lose some weight last year.  But this year I don't care.  Usually when I lose weight it's because I'm too stressed and/ or sick to eat like I normally do (and normally I have a very healthy appetite).  So this year I'd rather be fat and happy.  Instead of thinking about losing weight, I will focus on eating more fruit and veg and getting more exercise, both of which are positive and enjoyable.

2) "Should."  This one is the worst.  This is the dark underbelly of goal setting.  When I get too rigid about my goals, I spend too much time thinking about what I "should" be doing right now, what actions can I do right now that will bring me closer to my goals?  Well this year I'm letting go of this one too.  Instead of being so uptight about what I should or should not be doing at any given moment, I'm going to look for more ways to have fun and enjoy my day to day life.

3) Work toward goals that don't exist in this dimension.  Last year I had the unachievable goal of "working my way toward employment."  The idea is, my youngest will start school in the fall, and I want to go back to work.  But without knowing where (or even on which continent) I'll be living, what my circumstances will be and what employment opportunities will be available to me at the time, there is nothing to prepare for.

This year my goals are: To be kinder to myself.  To cut myself some slack.  To think of myself as forgivingly as I would think of a member of my family. (Why am I harder on myself than on anyone else??)  And most of all, to enjoy this adventure that is life. 

3 comments:

  1. Yea, good for you, Laurie! I think we are long-lost twins! cuz I have been coming to some of the same realizations as you have: being nicer to myself and being comfortable in my own skin. I'm beginning to realize life is too short to beat myself up over various failures and shortcomings which are all really only in my own head anyway due to false/unrealistic expectations. Be kinder and gentler to thyself!

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  2. Love your non-resolutions. Not so sure I like number 3... having given that one up myself in the last year...

    Agree whole heartedly with number 1 though!!! Eat drink and be merry....

    But for sure I hope your year overall is a good and happy one, where ever you end up.

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  3. I really like this "Anti-Resolutions" idea --- it sounds so much more positive than the usual restrictive resolutions that *I* for one make and then usually abandon within a week of the new year! Good luck!:)

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